Sunday, August 26, 2007

Fierce Presence

Everyone keeps asking me why I came to Santa Fe and I tell them about moving here to be near Raine. Her dad moved her here, with my agreement, while I was in Iraq for the past year.

When I came out for a visit I became distressed about the prospect of living in Albuquerque. It wasn't until I drove up the 25 Freeway and came up over the hill looking down on Santa Fe that I knew this was where I was meant to live.

But now I know that my ending up in Santa Fe had little to do with Raine's dad. Last night, while at a magical party I was told by the host that women come to Santa Fe to be transformed. I've been here only three weeks and I feel that all my old beliefs about myself, love and relationships have been sliced open and spread out across the barren desert of my soul, exposed to be transformed. I know this is only the beginning.
It is the land that transforms us - wide, open and exposing - it is not an easy place to live. It doesn't cradle you in soft breezes or lull you to sleep with the lapping of the water on an island's shore. This land demands honesty and for me to live closer to the bone, where it is raw and real. She is fierce presence demanding that I rip myself open and look at my tired old addictive beliefs that no longer have a purpose in my life except in keeping me small.

I desire to emulate this sprawling land with endless skies - I want to be open and transparent - to exude fierce presence, demanding integrity of myself first. This land is truly enchanted and I am honored to dance barefoot across her healing soul.
Transformed by her presence,

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