Monday, August 6, 2007

Transparent Vulnerability

Writing is an act of transparent vulnerability. It's scary to put my life, my feelings and my thoughts out there for the world to scrutinize, judge, condemn, to be moved and love. Sometimes I feel silly - thinking perhaps I exposed too much.

But it is my intention to be laid open like a river allowing life to flow through me, stopping for nothing just purely expressing my gifts. I've recently realized that this is true abundance and prosperity. Allowing our gifts to flow fully without any fears of being too much or offending or not being accepted and loved is abundance in action. We are the source of our abundance.
To the degree that I can be open and be honest with all that I do is the degree in which I am free. Freedom is found in congruency. When my life is congruently aligned and I hide nothing I am truly free.

I want freedom more than anything. And I realize now that there is no freedom in the dark hiding places of the wood shed that I hunker down in the dark times: There is only stagnation, loneliness and separation. Keeping my life, my passions, and my thoughts a secret stuffed down near my belly button only confines me.

I love being a Marine and the Marine Corps, but with it's many rules and zero tolerance for disobedience to those rules makes it difficult to fully unfurl my wings. I make it a point to keep my private life separate from the Marine Corps. In this disciplined environment there isn't much room for free expression or even individual expression. I push that envelope at times just by who I am, but I know the boundaries of what is acceptable. Guilt and anxiety are my constant companions.

This is my challenge to somehow in my heart align all aspects of my life and to express myself openly with true transparent vulnerability. It is my only path towards ultimate inner freedom.

Audaciously Transparent,
Karen (aka Agnes lu)


Ginger said...

I love reading your blog...and everything else you write. I hadn't heard that poem yet. It was moving and beautiful. You always inspire me. You are my muse!!!

Christy said...

My wonderful and adacious friend,
I happy to hear from you-i've been wondering what's been happening. My heart is heavy for loss of a love--i don't know what to say execpt it brings tears to my eyes. I'm happy that you are enjoying Santa Fe--a beautiful place for a beautiful soul. I miss you..........Give my best to Raine.